Author's Notes: The Emperor's Dream Chapter Ten

Hello and welcome to my author’s notes for chapter ten of The Emperor’s Dream! These shorter notes are my reactions to the chapters that I have posted, as well as some fun facts about the writing process. So if you like peeking behind the curtain, or if it’s helpful to hear how another writer looks critically at their writing, read on! If that’s not your cup of tea, don’t sweat this one. See you next week with chapter eleven.

If you haven’t read chapter ten, you can read it here.

If you just saw “The Emperor’s Dream” and you had no idea what I was talking about, no worries! It’s my ongoing epic fantasy novella that I’m sharing a chapter at a time here on my website. You can read chapter one here. These are first drafts only, so the final published version might change a little or a lot, but hopefully you either enjoy or learn something from seeing the process.

Now on with this week’s author’s notes!

• I’m not sure about the opening to this chapter. I’ve done it again, the thing where I start with a sentence in the present tense, “The sun warmed Wanyi as he walked,” then launch into an explanation about what had happened since the last chapter and why he’s going to Meisun’s before getting back into the action. Again, as a writer, that feels like crucial information for readers to be able to understand what’s going on, but perhaps it leans too far towards telling on the showing vs. telling spectrum. This is a novella that stretches over 3 months, though, so I’m not sure how to do this better yet. I know I’m not going to get into the nitty gritty of every day where Wanyi and his team are doing normal things, so it seems to me like I have to tell a little bit to fill in the time gaps.
• I’ll admit, standing still on the street and listening to some woman singing feels a little out of character for Wanyi. We’ll see if this part stays in the next draft, but I think it’s probably worth exploring how he could enjoy the song without being hypnotized. At least Wanyi himself calls this out. It seems weird to him, too. That said, he’s in a surprisingly good mood at this point, so it makes sense for him to be a little extra friendly. Maybe even a little whimsical. He’s a pretty serious person, but at this point, he’s not old enough to be a stone.
• While we’re talking about the song, I would love to actually write the song out in the text, Tolkien style. I think songs and poems are one of those things that really make a world feel real and lived in. But I don’t want to take the time to stop and write out these songs for a first draft. Especially if it ends up getting cut.
• I like Meisun’s recovery here. She is embarrassed when Wanyi catches her off guard, then compliments her, but I feel like her voice comes out better after that. She’s a little snarky, but not obnoxiously so.
• I get nervous any time I have a whole paragraph or two of background info. This felt like a good time to share a bit more about the core differences between the Sentient races, but again, it could come across as info dumping.
• Once again, I’m not thrilled with Wanyi’s reaction to Meisun agreeing to help him. The whole exchange feels a little awkward, if I’m being honest. But most of all, I think Wanyi’s emotions feel a little melodramatic (I’m sensing a pattern here). Portraying emotions in unique ways is tough.

I think that’s all for this week, friend! What questions do you have? I’d also love to hear your feedback. Let me know your thoughts!

And again, if you haven’t read chapter ten yet, you can do so here. That’ll make this whole post make a lot more sense.

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Until next time!